Of White and Gold Organzas
by Strawberry Fae
Summary: It's not like you would long for her touch. It's not like you were waiting for a chance to get back together. It's not like she wasn't engaged to be married in a few months to a ninja from another land. No, it wasn't it. You weren't affected. You were not affected.


_If you touch me like this_

_And when you hold me like that_

_It was gone with the wind _

_But it's coming back to me_

_XXX_

You lay alone in your bed. The sound of the water dripping and light footprints of an animal are the only things you hear. It's late at night. You can't seem to fall asleep. You feel your chest heave and fall. The sound of your own breathing resound the room. You feel a slight pain in your chest. You don't want to bother since you're tired from your previous mission. You can still recall how the mission went. You and Kakashi went to the Land of Waves a few days ago in search of a hidden tunnel that might lead Wave to Fire and a possible ambush. You can still feel the throbbing of the wound on your ankle since you refused to be healed in the hospital when you arrived. You didn't need help. You didn't need help from her. You didn't need to see her.

You've been avoiding her the last few months. You don't know why. You just did. It's not like you were affected when she would treat you like she usually would. It's not like you would long for her touch. It's not like you were waiting for a chance to get back together. It's not like she wasn't engaged to be married in a few months to a ninja from another land. No, it wasn't it. You weren't affected. You were not affected.

You hear the sound of a faint crack where your hands are. You unconsciously placed them on the headboard which is now cracked. You scowl. You don't know why you did it. You think it's just a reflex. '_Right, a reflex' _you say to yourself. You can't seem to shove your second thoughts to the back of your mind.

Now that your body's awake you can seem to get comfortable whichever pose you choose. You soon find yourself dressing for the outdoors. You turn to the clock mounted on your wall. It's 2 am. It's been four hours since you got back, eight days since you departed, two months since you stopped talking to her, eight months since you lost her. You shake the thought out. It was your decision. It was your choice to let her go. You did her a favour. You repeat that line like a mantra over and over again in your head.

You feel the cool breeze caress your face. Your nose can smell the fresh rain that graced Konoha a few hours ago. You drag your feet to a destination that even you don't know. You recall your thoughts of her.

"_Sasuke-kun!" she greets you. She just got back from her shift in the hospital you passed by. You nod at her and let her walk with you. She stretches her hand to grab yours. You flinch away. She stops as you continued on your way. _

"_I think I forgot something, please go ahead without me." You know she's lying. She never forgets important things in the hospital. She would always triple check everything before she would leave. You detect the sadness in her voice yet you make no sound. You hear a faint sob from behind, yet you don't turn around. Her footsteps fade in the background, you know you hurt her, yet you did nothing. You turn to face her, all you caught was a glimpse of her retreating back._

You always end up hurting her. Whether you meant to or not. Even when you confessed to her, you still ended up making her cry.

"_Sakura. Live with me" You're a twenty-four year old ANBU, she a twenty-four year old medic._

_She looks at you speechless. She doesn't know what to say. She blinks then scratches her ear._

"_What did you say, Sasuke-kun?" she sounds confused. She should. You just asked her to live with you even though you've been treating her like crap. _

"_Live with me." You repeat. She looks at you as if you were making a joke that didn't make sense. You sigh. _

"_Does this mean you.." She points at you weakly then at herself. "Are you saying you…"_

"_You would make the perfect partner." You tell her. "You are smart, strong and talented, perfect for the role of being the mother of my children."_

_She stays quiet, in deep thought. You say to yourself._

"_You're tolerable."_

_She looks at you with your bright viridian eyes of hers, a small smile forming on her pink lips. You see her eyes glaze and a crystal like liquid trickle down her face. She nods then embraces you. You return her embrace with less passion, still, you embrace her._

"_Thank you."_

_You look at the sniffling girl in front of you as she wipes her tears. You lift her chin and made her face you. You close the gap between your lips._

You find yourself standing in front of her house. You see her room still lit. She must be studying, you say to yourself. You immediately turn to her window when you hear it open. She still looks as beautiful. You admit.

"Sasuke." She calls out your name without the suffix. You stand there frozen as she makes her way down to meet you. She touches your shoulder bringing you back from your thoughts. "You're hurt" she states.

Your eyes drift to your swollen ankle. She was right. You didn't bother noticing the pain earlier. You were too lost in your thoughts of her.

She invites you inside. You don't refuse. You can't refuse. She lets you sit on the couch beside her. She takes your foot then proceeds on heeling the wound. You feel the warm green chakra injected in your system making your flesh stitch itself back together. She smiles at you. You respond with a nod.

"Why were you avoiding me?" She looks down not meeting your gaze. You continue to stare at her. You feel guilt swelling up inside you. "Why, Sasuke? What did I do?"

You fight the urge to hold her. To tell her how you felt. You held back. You know that you've fallen for her. You know that you can't live happy when she'll be in the arms of another man for all eternity in a matter of few months. You want to stop her. You want her to stay with you, to choose you, to be bound to you.

"You left me first, Sasuke. You told me you made the wrong choice." You hear her voice becoming hoarse." You said that you didn't love me. That's why you left me."

"I don't." You liar. You know you love her. You're just too much of a coward to tell her the truth. You know she'll be married soon. You know she'll be leaving Konoha. You know you'll lose her forever.

She chokes and lets out silent tears. You feel the liquid crystal droplets on your foot. You fight it. You fight what you feel. Now she sits next to you crying over your lies. You remove your foot from her lap. You turn to her and placed your hand on her back.

"I'm not that right man for you." You say to her. You idiot. You're just trying to convince yourself that.

"I know." She replies. Does it hurt to know that she has finally accepted a future with someone else and not with you? Does it hurt knowing that this was your entire fault, if you weren't too much of an asshole to her then things would've been different?

You feel your throat dry up. You don't know what else to say. You just sit there.

"I think you should leave, Sasuke. It's late." She whispers. You hear her clearly then proceed to walk out the door.

"Thank you." You say to her before she slams the door on your face. You sigh. You are hopeless. You return to your home broken.

It's been months since you last saw her. Today is her wedding. You're one of the guests. You sit in the middle, near the aisle. You hear the organ playing as she waltzes in. She looks like an angel clad in whie and gold organza. You see her smile as she walks down the aisle. You don't notice the worried look your best friend give you. You remain silent, entranced by her beauty. Then you realize, she isn't for you, you were the one that let go. You gave up on her when she needed you the most. You rejected her, you hurt her, a couple of times you almost killed her. There she floats in her cloud nine towards the blonde Kumo ninja you despise so much, towards her future, without you. You feel something wet run along your cheek as well as a gentle pat on the back. You turn to your best friend. You tear up unconsciously. He gives you a sorry smile.

"I hope you know what you're doing, Teme."

When the priest questions the crowd whether the two should marry silence filled the air.

Three seconds…

Two seconds…

One second…

"Then I pronounce-" You find yourself standing tall in the middle of the aisle. Your arm raised all the way.

"I object."

_XXX_

**What do you guys think? I was thinking of using a different writing style and genre. So… whaddya think? Is this any good? Please tell me :3**


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